This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
