Duck Duck Cougar?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize