belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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