I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
