I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
