Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
