so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
