It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
