I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
