yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
