Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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