Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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