The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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