Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My bed smells like the plague
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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