i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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