did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
