Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
