3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
