I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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