if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
