You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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