Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
