obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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