i need an iv and a liver transplant
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
