In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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