i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
