I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
