6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
