Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We named our party play list daddy issues
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
