i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
