Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize