So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
