I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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