call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
