This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
