You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
