she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
