She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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