Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
