nut hugger
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
