I am puke
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
17 year olds will be the death of me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
