Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
