Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
