I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I lost the right to judge tonight
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
