walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
