so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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