Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
high people should be assigned attendants
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
