Got a toothbrush?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize