i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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