I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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