My room smells like vodka and shame
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
