I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
