come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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