Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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