i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
