Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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