Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
