did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
