Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i now understand why vodka
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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