white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I think i got beer on your cat.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
