I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
