heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
