i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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