Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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