so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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