I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
