if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
