Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
