thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
