I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think I sprained my soul last night
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize