You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
