I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize